Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
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