$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
