i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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