i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
I see more hoeing in ur future
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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