AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
