Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
