did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
