did you get engaged???
butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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