dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
