My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
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