yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
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