Just fell off a train. Bad.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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