I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
