He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
