you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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