So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
