I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Randomize
