No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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