Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
