I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Randomize
