508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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