There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
