Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
