My girlfriend figured out who you are.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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