you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Randomize
