doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
She announced her abortion via fbk
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
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