Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
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