he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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