Is it normal to miss your booty call?
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize
