I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
