I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
