Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Randomize
