4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Randomize
