I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
