Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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