i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
