I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Randomize
