"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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