The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Randomize
