I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Is it penis luge time yet?
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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