Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I think I sprained my soul last night
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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