sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
