P.S. I can't hear my feet
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
