I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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