just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Randomize
