I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Randomize