Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Randomize
