We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Randomize
