Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
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