i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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