Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
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